I don’t understand where people are coming from when they say Astarion is “too evil” in their good playthrough or really hard to get approval. I feel like there’s such a misconception about Astarion’s approval to the point that some people seem to believe you cannot help others and must do questionable/bordering evil things to get his approval to romance him. I used to think so too in my first playthrough and would sometimes do things that were out of character for my tav or would help others in a roundabout way that some people recommended, which in turn made me feel bitter I wasn’t being true to myself.
In my second playthrough I decided I want to help as many people as possible and never pick an option just to please Astarion. Turns out you can still have exceptional approval before even venturing to the under-dark (87 for me)
There is absolutely no need to not agree to help directly or “cheat” by leaving Astarion at camp when you want to make a good choice.
In fact I like it when he tells my character that she is naive because she tries to do the right thing/has a good heart, cannot be what she wants to see in him, assumes that by “being better” she means kinder. I feel like all of these wouldn’t make sense if she was going around kicking birds, bullying little kids and ignoring everyone in trouble.
In dialogue related directly to him he also never disapproves of disagreeing with his “power-hungry” ideas. First related to the tadpoles and later to him becoming the ascendant. You can definitely challenge him without fearing he will stop liking you.
Some things I did: -agreed to help Zevlor and the tieflings
-told Arabella’s parents I will save her and saved her
-sworn to Nettie I will use her poison if I start turning
-tried to help Mayrina (choosing dialogue choices of me wanting to help her from the beginning)+ in the end giving her the wand
-saved Barcus and the other gnomes, always telling them I’m going to save them directly (first to the one in the Myconid Colony and later to those in Grymforge)
-agreed to help Myconids both times
-freed the artist from the hideout
-immediately released the prisoner in Goblin Camp
-always said kind and encouraging things if there’s any character requiring it like the thielfling kids and Alfira I also never scold anyone for helping or being stupid
-saved the flaming fists from the burning house
-said I will take care of the gith egg
-instantly helped the harpers
-saved the gnomes and thieflings from moonrise
-released the pixie
-released the goblins in moonrise
I was never mean to anyone, never made any kind of a cruel joke, never tortured anyone, never kicked any animal, never agreed to get whipped or anything of the sort.The only time I required payment or didn’t agree to help instantly is after saving Barcus for the first time and helping the ex wife-beater dwarf in the under-dark.
I feel like people are exaggerating so much when they say he disagrees about helping constantly. He doesn’t disapprove of killing the goblin camp leaders to help the grove, of releasing the prisoner, of saving the tiefling kid being attacked by harpies, of saving the flaming fists in the burning house, of helping the myconids, of agreeing to help Tula, of saving Barcus, of saving the dwarf in the underdark, of saving the tieflings and gnomes from moonrise, of helping Halsin lift the shadow curse and by act 3 he even wants to go kill Gortash because Orin kidnapped Yenna (even tho the same day he approved of making an alliance with Gortash) and proposes to save Volo. When meeting the Gur he even agrees to help the children if you choose the option that says you will help them even if Astarion won’t.
To know that he approves of telling kids they will all die, telling Alfira her singing is terrible, kicking/poking the bird, scolding kids, torturing the prisoner in goblin camp, asking about getting your own slave, getting whipped by that one guy you must do those things yourself or else he has a neutral reaction to them.
Sometimes his disapprovals are contradictory too, he disapproves of saving Arabella and Mayrina but then he says he likes Arabella and is excited to see her later, while in the fight with the hag he says “we must do this and this or else the girl will die”.
Obviously he is not a “good” person but unless you do evil things yourself or push him to be the worst version of himself he is pretty neutral. He doesn’t care what you do as long as you like him and help him with his personal quest. This is a lot different from someone like Karlach whose approval is mostly dependent on your outside actions.
